suffering, obedience and blessings.

I have sat down to write a blog so many times but end up shutting my laptop without posting. A part of me doesn't want to tell you about the hard parts, but the truth is this is really hard. I stepped foot on a continent with my four year old son that we had never even visited. This after resigning from a big job with big money and selling everything we own minus the 200 pounds we brought with us. Things that were easy in the states are just difficult here. The two hardest things for me by far are losing my independence and watching my son in his struggles.

My heart arrived in Africa long before we did. God had prepared us as much as possible for this time, and I am so thankful for that. But no one can be prepared to watch their child struggle to choke down rice for the 18th lunch/dinner, or watch as the kids poke, pet, blow at, laugh and call your baby names. I couldn't be prepared to answer my son when he asks why I am doing this to him in response to a cold splash of water we call baths in the states, or for what it would feel like to be the only white person in a sea of black faces. How does one prepare to not have a home of of their own, no transportation, and to not know how and where to shop for food, prepare it, and the list goes on and on.

But, after every hard moment comes the most amazing one. I explained to a dear friend that I am truly living moment to moment and grace to grace; seeking God in the hard times knowing that he is with me always and that he will never leave or forsake me, and thanking God when he responds with the blessings of obedience. It seems to me that there is this belief that Christ died for us; to make our lives comfortable. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. Christ died in obedience to God, not for us and for our comfort. Jesus was sweating blood on his way to obedience and even asked God to take the cup from him if it was his will. But ultimately Jesus obeyed and went to the cross to pay the ultimate price of death.

That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death. - Php 3:10

And if children, then heirs; heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. -Romans 8:17

Scripture tells us that we are to partake in Christ's suffering, and it also says in Matthew 7 that following Christ is the narrow and difficult road that leads to life, while the broad and easy road leads to destruction. Does this mean that we are not to have joy? No, it is just the opposite! In John 17, Jesus prays to The Father that His joy would be made full in us. Jesus wants us to have a joyful life.. but that joy does not come in the form of comfort, it comes from Him; in obedience and in relationship. In obedience comes immeasurable joy and blessing!

So while my time here is hard; much harder than I could even really let onto, the moments of joy and blessing are like nothing I have ever experienced. Let me show you.....

This is Betty opening her 14th birthday gifts I brought from the states. I sponsor Betty by paying a monthly fee that allows her an education, food, and school uniforms. While spending time with Betty I found out that she was about 10 when her mother died. That was one week after her father died. Betty is an orphan. James 1:27 says that pure religion in the sight of God is caring for widows and orphans, and not to be corrupt by the things of this world.

I arrived in Betty's country the day before her birthday and she was at the airport waiting to greet me. Who gets to meet the child that they have sponsored half way around the world at the airport upon their arrival, and who gets to spend the next day celebrating her birthday with her when she has never before received a birthday gift? Do you think Betty was more blessed, or me? God is that good!

Betty once lived halfway around the world from me, but now I see her in church on Sunday and at school whenever I am there. Only God could do something this spectacular.

                                           
                                                       Katie Davis and my son!

A little over a year ago a friend linked Katie's blog to my facebook page. She is a 22 year old single mother... of 14 girls! She lives in Uganda, Africa with her daughters who were once orphans. The night I read her entire blog front to back my life was forever changed. Everything came full circle when we pulled up to her gate on July 24th. I stood in her living room and just wanted to drop to my knees in thanksgiving to my God. I'm not sure if Katie will ever fully understand the ramifications of her obedience, but for me, it was the Word of God spelled out in conjunction with her actions and thoughts on following Christ that changed the direction of my life. And to think He lined it up so that I would live here in the same country in Africa.... I am just blown away literally.

Only God could do something this spectacular.

On my 10th day in Uganda the Lord spoke to me about a sick boy.. "bring him home and love him". I had a meeting with a few college aged girls and then planned on talking with Pastor John. When headed toward Pastor's office I saw him walking with the boy's hand in his. He said to me that we were bringing him home. Confirmation! Only God!

Meet Brian (on the right), here with Auntie Drea on our first day in Uganda.

Brian has a story all his own, and he will get a separate post. But to tell you of the joy I get in taking care of this child..... to watch CR rub B's head when he is laying ill, to hear my son say dozens of times per day how much he loves Brian, to see him eat without pain, to hide his medicine in his food for him, to tell him I love him, pray with him and teach him about his Father who will also never leave or forsake him... to tuck him in at night. I am head over heels for this child.

Only God, seriously, could do such an amazing thing. I am on my way to Gulu. My plan was not to get to Uganda and bring another child into our lives in this capacity. But aren't His plans just so much better than ours! Pastor's wife said to me last night how amazing it was that God put Gulu on hold so that I would be here for a time such as this. Can you imagine!

And these are just the great big AMAZING things HE has done.

There is also this...

And this...

And I praise him for this....

American/Italian Food!

...and KISSES!

I thank him for this...

So many things happen each and every moment here. I cry most days for various reasons. Africa is breathtaking and hard, heartbreaking and harder yet, beautiful and amazing. I am standing on God's promises for the orphans and widows, for me and CR, and for our newest little man, Brian.

Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. –John 12:26

“Mommy, I love our new home.”

Journaled July 18th after our travels and first day in Uganda.

We are here! It’s nearing 1am, and I am eager to tell you about our first day in Nkumba….. as I sit here typing nicely tucked under my mosquito net, or "caves" as CR calls them. We had relatively uneventful flights, minus the man in Chicago who exited the plane with my carry on bag instead of his. Praise God he heard his name paged and came back quickly. Also, Drea left a 50 lb. bag of aid and gifts at the Ug airport thinking she grabbed it (updated, we got the bag!). I am blessed with a child who was made to travel. CR did excellent! He slept in few hour increments on the plane and in the airports, and when not sleeping just had a great time watching his movies and eating. I love Turkish Airlines! The food was beyond good and the flights were comfortable. The Istanbul airport was awesomem but it was HOT in that place. If you stop there I recommend the tortellini with goat cheese from the only pasta place in the food court. Probably the best pasta I have ever had. Truly.

On his way to Africa!

Istanbul Airport - The Bizarre and Ice Cream Joksters

We arrived in Ug at 730a. We all got our Visas without any problems, although I was charged the $50 for CR’s, which I was hoping I wouldn’t be since I have heard many people say that their children are just let through without a fee. When we walked outside the double doors, much to my surprise, there was no Seggy… Cara was standing there with my sponsored child, Betty! I really couldn’t believe it. I mean how many people sponsor a child half way around the world and then get to meet them?!? Betty had never been to the airport before. She was shy, but spoke English well so we were able to talk and get to know each other. Her birthday is tomorrow, although when I asked her what her birthday was she said she didn’t know. RTPs records indicate that it is tomorrow and that she will be 14. I have gifts for her and we will invite her over for dinner. Seeing her first thing was such an amazing way to be welcomed to Africa.

When I asked for Seggy, Cara said he couldn’t make it, however, he was outside waiting for us with welcoming arms. It was great to see him again! Mark, who also works with Nkumba Ministries and RTP, was there as well. We loaded all of our bags into two cars and headed to Pastor John’s in Nkumba. Seeing the photos come to life was spectacular. Uganda is amazing. I sat in the backseat with CR on my lap and Betty beside me. It was that moment I had waited for and I never want to forget it. I was reminded of the first time CR was placed in my arms in Guatemala; driving through the streets of his country taking in the sights and smells. I was in awe that this was our new home.

It was obvious that the Lord had prepared our hearts for this move. It felt like home immediately. When we arrived at Pastor’s house, CR instantly took to his three oldest children, who are 2, 3, and 5. They have an 8 month old daughter as well, that was in my arms the second her nanny put her down. The children were squealing with delight as CR shared his toys and books. It was a matter of an hour before he was using a few Luganda words and pretending to speak the language completely by using his own rendition. Pretty comical indeed. We had tea and bread and butter for breakfast and then headed out to the school.

When we pulled up all the children came running and circled around CR. It was just a few moments until they were all playing in the schoolyard together. It is Saturday so school was to end at noon for the older kids, and the primary age are out for the day. There was no shortage of children however since there are hundreds that live at the school. It was laundry day so the bushes were all covered in clothing, just like the photos. The school is so different in real life; the pics do no justice. Seggy and Cara took us around the campus. The children just flock to you and want to touch you, hold hands and be carried. We made lots of new friends today. Josie loves white people, or so I heard, and she loved me and CR. She would hold my hands around her so that I couldn’t touch anyone else, and she kept petting CR’s hair. While inside the girls dorm CR asked if he could tell me a secret. When I bent down he whispered in my ear “Mommy, I love our new home.” Only God could do something this spectacular.

We went out to lunch at a local restaurant on the main road in Nkumba. CR had an orange soda, which made him love this place all the more since he doesn’t get to drink it in the states. We ate everything local, down to the matooke smothered in a purple peanut sauce. I love peanut butter; I do not love purple peanut sauce! We made stops to Cara’s apartment and then to Mark’s new house that is nearing completion but still under construction. Pastor John’s three oldest were with us and the kids had fun playing wherever we were. When we got home I tried putting CR under the cold shower… let me interrupt, it’s sticky here, humid, and although not Phoenix, it is hot. There is orange dirt everywhere. We had been on an airplane for 2 days. My son sweats anyway, so that coupled with all of the above factors… he needed a cleaning! There is no hot water here unless boiled. When I spayed his feet he gasp, so like any good mother I just soaked him. He cried a cry I have never heard before and then asked me why I was doing this to him. Broke my heart. So we didn’t get to the part where you actually use soap, instead I just dried him off, brushed his teeth and we laid down for a nap.

I woke up nearing dinner time. Pastor and his wife had arrived home and we sat talking for a while. CR could not be woken up despite my multiple attempts. Dinner was served. Beef and fish are different here. I enjoyed the sauce that they cooked them in, and over rice it was good. The sweet potatoes are great, and the “Irish”, or russet type potatoes boiled and then fried to crisp the outside, are delightful. Matooke is the diet of champions… I hope to become a champion… it’s not easy for me to eat…. yet! The power went out smack dab in the midst of dinner, to which Pastor so calmly said/prayed “Jesus.. oh, God”. The boys were quick to grab candles and get them lighted. Fun fact, Ugangan cell phones come with a built in flashlight. I found out the use at dinner. It was awesome! And convenient!

After dinner our hosts so graciously boiled water for us to bathe. I took my very first sponge bath with bucket water. Today it was much more appealing than standing under a freezing cold shower. Round 2 of bathing for CR was much better! He didn’t eat anything for dinner, and I didn’t force it. I figure when he gets hungry, he will eat. He was just so exhausted.

Tomorrow is church. I can’t believe we are here. After all the time on my face before God seeking his purpose for my life, after all the preparation, after flying around the globe.. we are here. We are home.

Pastor's children: Caleb, Caiphus and Carissa with CR

Chloe

First night in his "cave"..   :)

Drea had her camera at the school so I didn't bring mine. I am excited about showing you Nkumba Christian School and May College (High School), as well as introducing you to some of the kids. Photos to come! Also, a friend of mine posted these words to her blog written by Vince Giordano from Children's HopeChest. It is so good, and so close to my heart, that I wanted to share with you.

Those of us who spend our time focusing on the poor, the oppressed and those who serve them are sometimes confronted with grim realities. The fact is that there are too many problems out there...there are too many children that need help...there are too many women and children who are stuck in sex-trafficking and too many people starving. So, you read a book or you adopted a child or you went on a trip and you were overwhelmed with poverty and injustice. You never imagined that things were so bad. You couldn't believe how cheap it was to solve individual problems - medicines for less than $10, mosquito nets for $5, school fee that are less than your monthly starbucks budget. You thought to yourself - I have to do something - I am GOING to do something.

You return to America or you finish your book and your mission begins. You start telling your spouse or your best friends. This is unbelievable - we have to do something now. We have to act. Some of them seem interested but most of them try to wait it out hoping you will get over this latest obsession. But you know in your heart this is not an obsession - it's a calling. It is a new awareness that the kingdom of God has to extend out from you and reach the least of these. You keep going.

Your friends initially tolerate you and then some just quietly phase you out but you are undeterred initially. You press on KNOWING people will want to make a difference. You start reading the Bible with fresh eyes and asking yourself why you had never seen that or read that before? Why did I not hear this in church? You listen to sermons with fresh ears and you hear the repetitive beating of a drum that seems to resound with a self-centered rhythm. It isn't supposed to be all about me is it God? Why are we only focused on making our great lives even better when kids are starving, when young children are being prepared for sexual exploitation every two minutes? I guess that will all just go away if I can truly develop the purpose driven life right? Or if I just keeping doing more bible studies with my accountability group?

For some of us, the hard reality is that we simply need to move on from some of our old ways and old friends into the fullness of the gospel. The true religion that we know He is calling us too. You won't be popular but quite frankly neither was Jesus among the religious crowd. You may find yourself test the patience of some of your closest friends who would just rather plan their next big vacation and not hear about the sexual exploitation of children or starving kids or children who are alone and with love or hope. That stuff is just too hard and depressing and doesn't fit with the trajectory of my life that God is making so pleasant and easy.

I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that everything we do will have an eternal impact in the lives of individuals and it matters. Your small choices can make a big difference in the lives of the hurting. The bad news is that you will not be popular, it will not be easy, you will lose friends, people will tire of you constantly beating the drum for the cause of justice. People will avoid you and criticize you and tell you to lighten up. But, I want to challenge you. I want to challenge you to be a louder voice than you have ever been. I want to challenge you to scream for those who have no voice. I want to challenge you to ask God to use you in places and in ways that others don't want to. I want to challenge you to fight against the apathy that plagues our churches and society. I challenge you to be His hands and feet to the least of these. I challenge you to allow your life to be a seed - which falls to ground and dies and in so doing it produces much fruit. I challenge you to swim against the current of our church culture that seeks to find comfort in a personal gospel and personal salvation and passionately pursue God with a reckless abandon for those that are helpless. I pray that we would have the spirit of a warrior that has counted the cost and said with boldness - Lord I give you my life today - ALL of me - spend me extravagantly on the poor and the oppressed.

a leveraging moment in my life.

I can't remember the last time I read a story about myself. Perhaps that's because if there ever was one it didn't mean much. This account, however, of how the Lord has moved in my life, is one I hope not to ever forget. It was written for the April CRM newsletter by Steve Hubler about The Mission, my missional community, aka "church". Being on the outside looking in truly blessed me. I hope it does you as well.

Leverage. The power to maximize the influence exerted on a person, event or decision with the use of a relatively small amount of force or activity. We are most familiar with this concept when applied to our attempts to move a heavy object or break loose a stubborn bolt. Leverage enables us to produce a result that we could not otherwise produce in our own power. However, we do not often recognize that God uses leverage in our lives. He brings us to moments; critical moments for which He has been preparing us for months, years, or even decades. And in these moments He takes one small, seemingly insignificant action and uses it to produce massive changes in us that would not otherwise be produced. It could be a change of profession, a call to vocational ministry, freedom from an addiction, or an overdue improvement in our character. Regardless of its form, we experience a change which seems altogether disproportionate to the event that triggered it. And neither we, nor the life we live is ever the same again. I once heard a colleague of mine, Greg Koukl of Stand to Reason Ministries in California refer to these moments as leveraged moments. As a Pastor, and now as a Missionary, these are the very moments I long to witness in the lives of those I serve.


I want to tell you a story about how God used our new ministry to help trigger a leveraged moment. It took place in the life of a young woman named Tonya. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting her you noticed that she is intelligent, intuitive and attractive in both personality and appearance. She’s also already achieved a level of success in her career that is favorably disproportionate for someone who is in no immediate danger of being regarded as “middle aged.” Tonya became a follower of Christ 5 years ago. Since that time God has been developing a hunger in her for a life that reaches well beyond the “Gospel of Me” that echoes all too often in the heart of our consumer driven culture. Tonya was more interested in how she could serve Jesus than what Jesus was going to do for her. For years she searched for a community of like minded Christians where her growing desire to serve others in the same way that Jesus did could be nurtured and brought to fruition. But God didn’t lead her to one. Instead, He left her in near isolation with only scattered spiritual nurture and input from others. During that time He allowed her desire to be distilled into pure ministry passion.


Meanwhile, God was preparing the community she desired. It was during this same span of time that God called CRM to launch our new ministry and then called Melissa and me to lead it. It was during this same span of time that God directed us to launch our first missional community (“The Mission”) down in Phoenix on February 21st, and moved Bryan and Drea Thiele into a position where they could not only host it but help lead it. And as we did these things we found ourselves working in concert with our dear friends, Frank and Cindy May whom God has richly blessed with a powerful and growing ministry called Remember the Poor (RTP). Once God got all of us ready to receive Tonya, He finally led her to discover Drea’s blog by way of a post Drea had made to the blog of an American missionary to Uganda that Tonya was already following. And then He led her to discover RTP’s blog through the contact she made with Drea. Tonya was so moved with what she saw God doing through RTP and in our budding ministry that she reached out to both Cindy and Drea. It was one small, seemingly insignificant act. But an important connection was made. Tonya quickly became a beloved member of our extended ministry community. She was exposed to the full scope of the work God is doing through both ministries. And in the midst of these newfound relationships God put a face on the passion He had placed inside her. Essentially, God told her to go to the city of Gulu in Northern Uganda and make disciples of those known as “the invisible children,” baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to obey all that He has commanded us. And yes, He would be with her always, even to the end of the age. So Tonya has resigned from her job, is selling all of her possessions and preparing to take her adopted son and move to Gulu as soon as possible.


Tonya’s connection with Cindy and Drea was a leveraged moment. God orchestrated this one small event and her life will be forever changed, as will the lives of many she touches. Hers will be the hands God uses to ease the suffering of others. Hers will be the mouth God uses to bring the hope of eternal life to all who listen. Tonya is a disciple of Jesus who is now making disciples of others. And the best part of this story is that neither I, nor my ministry, nor any of my dear friends can take credit for what has become of Tonya. All of the credit belongs to Christ. But we are encouraged because the very work that God has done in her and the way in which He has accomplished it mirrors the ministry He has given us at The Mission. We are called to reach the lost for Christ and equip believers in Christ through our service to those who are suffering, so that those we reach and equip will then live as missionaries to whatever community God sends them. We were not present when He reached Tonya. We were not present when He placed His passion to serve those who are suffering into her heart. We were not even present during much of the time He used that passion to fuel the equipping she was receiving. But God did allow us to play a small, but important role in the culmination of that equipping and sending her to the mission field she has been called. We are encouraged because if God has allowed us to play a role in His calling and equipping to send Tonya to Uganda, then why should we not be confident that God is willing to allow us to play a role in His calling and equipping to send others onto the mission field, whether that field should lie in Gulu Uganda or Glendale AZ? If the work that we’ve witnessed God do in Tonya’s life is any indication of the work He’ll use us to accomplish in the lives of others, then we have much to look forward to. God will orchestrate many more leveraged moments. Those who are suffering will be served. The lost will be reached. The reached will be equipped. Disciples will be made just as Jesus commanded in Matt 28:18-20.

If you go back and read this post from January, you can see how elated I was that the Lord had finally led me to the family I had been fervently praying for. I never captured in that post the isolation I had been through, the very isolation Steve mentions in one sentence above. Understand that God had called me out of the church I had been attending, and for about 10 months I was home-churching as my heart was being challenged and changed in reading The Word and spending time flat on my face before him. The latter part of this time was spent at home under the preaching of David Platt's Church of Brook Hills in Birmingham, AL, due to a link that I had found on Drea's blog months before I came to know her family lived in AZ. Her husband has since become my pastor. God is so crazy cool and amazing! I had to go through a massive growth in my understanding of the ways of the Lord before he placed me in this family; a time of pruning in my life in preparation for my calling. But how comforting to know that all along, in my time of great loneliness, he was putting together the perfect group of followers to receive me. He is good! And his time is always perfect, even if we can't see it in the moment.

I'll end with touching on some words Steve used quite loosely, like "intelligent, intuitive and attractive in both personality and appearance".. ha, I guess I have them fooled! As well, he spoke of the "small role" The Mission and Remember The Poor has played in my call to Africa. In the body of Christ, the church, every part is equally important (1 Corinthians 12:14-21). Without each and every one of the people in these two ministries I could not do what I am doing. God has perfectly weaved our lives together. All for his glory. And all I can think to say to that is hallelujah!

For nearly four weeks now I have been trying to figure out how to write a post that consists of the words..
 WE ARE MOVING TO AFRICA!!!!

As it turns out, this is a plan 5 years in the making. May 22, 2005, I'm invited to church by a new friend who says that if I am to be friends with her I must go to church. Really? Really. So I showed up. I walked in to Ricardo Sanchez leading what I now know as worship. It was an Assemblies of God church, so when I walked in my first response was not worship, rather wierd. I couldn't tell you a single thing about the Word on that day, but I recall Pastor Friend asking at the end if their was anyone who didn't know Jesus. He went on to say that today was the day (and then a whole bunch more stuff that was just killing me). I couldn't keep my emotions in check. I remember him saying that someone was having an urging inside, and it was then that I just completely broke down. My hands went up and I cried for a long time. I didn't know what I was doing, or what to say. At one point I questioned if I was just trying to fit it. I was a basket case, so I'm pretty sure that wasn't it! A lady came and prayed with me and on this day I gave my heart to Jesus. It was also on this day The Lord gave me a vision.

There were black faces as far as my eyes could see.  I suppose it could have been Haiti, but I left the Scottsdale First Assembly Dream Center that day with Africa on my heart.

I got home and listened to my tape (yes it was a tape, and am I the only one or do newly saved people really listen to the tapes they give you?!?). Pastor Friend said that I had made the most important decision in my life, and that now I would spend eternity with God because of what Christ had done. I felt that a place inside of me had been filled that had been forever empty. I well up now just typing this. He said that everything may not make sense now but that I had entered into a relationship that would change everything, and that I needed to talk to God and read my bible. So that is what I did.

Immediately "the least of these" and the orphan took hold of my soul and I began to dream of going and to them. I'm not sure when my focus went from Africa to Guatemala, but I now can look back and see His Hand so perfectly in it all. Four months later as I plan a short term mission trip to Guatemala, I saw this face on the internet.

I had an internal shift, and I knew without a thought that this baby was my son. There are truly no other words. I just knew. Change in plan again, now I am not going to Guatemala to serve the orphans, I am going to Guatemala to adopt an orphan. Thirteen months later [after numerous trips, brain damage and cerebral palsey diagnosis, agency-gone-wrong, Guate adoptions closing any second, and lots of Jesus] with my miracle child in my arms we touched down on American soil.

Insert a lot of life from then until now. There are a billion things I could write here, but the point truly is that I have been seeking God since May 22, 2005, and he has convicted me of my sins over and again and loved me through it all.

new normal.

"Whoever claims to live in him must walk as he did." -1 John 2:6

Friday night I picked up a pastor that we are partnering with from Gulu, Uganda to take him to our Radical Small Group. The first thing he said when we got in my SUV was "nice truck". I felt like he punched me in the stomach. This is when you know your heart is changing. Do you ever remember being excited about having a nice, new vehicle and smiling when people would notice?!? I certainly do. Not so much today.

While we were driving along, we passed not one, but two, massive U-Haul storage centers with fleets of trucks sitting outside. He asked what that was for and I proceeded to tell him that here, in America, when we have too much stuff to fit into our homes, we pay money to place it in a facility such as this. I realized what I had just said and felt punched yet again. Double punch.. I have one. He asked about the trucks. Yup, we use them to move our many things from one home to another. He mentioned how if only he had one of those trucks that are just sitting there in Gulu they could transport food. Turns out they have a little piece of land that produces some food but it is 30 miles away. He has no vehicle. Are you getting the picture? If not, it looks like this.



He shared his testimony with our group. To say this man is a messenger of the Lord is an understatement. But that is another story in itself. There was a point toward the end where he was talking about how he had no appetite due to the things he saw and experienced. He began explaining all the things we have heard before; begging children who haven't eaten for days, mother's nursing naked babies who were so famished there was certainly no milk in their breasts, children who have never before slept on a mattress, let alone had a blanket. I began to feel sick, like I was going to vomit. I couldn't believe that I could eat in my abundance when I knew what I knew, and have seen what I've seen. How could I still have an appetite when this man who has little to nothing himself can't eat at the mention of such atrocities? He spoke on James chapter 5, and how he never wanted to have anything that would testify against him. I am feeling pretty beat up now, as I am certain he just slugged me in my gut once more. The Holy Spirit that is. I felt utterly and completely convicted of the things I am holding onto that will no doubt be used against me. I began weeping inside. How could this..



be more important than this?



..or this?



Here he is fetching his water far from his home. DO YOU SEE THAT? That white, murky water is what he drinks. And when asked if he at least boils it, there was simple shake of the head as if to say "why bother".

As he was speaking I could not get these images out of my head, and I began to think to myself how... HOW could I send this man back to that water as I sit here watching my TV and going on with my normal? I was now shaking, crying, trying not to throw up, and most importantly, completely convicted like never before. I am so thankful to God for changing me in this moment, because it was then that I understood the difference between worldly and heavenly, I mean really understood it, and understood with my whole heart where I want to store up my treasure. It was then that I realized I had to act immediately.

To add to that, our group leader then told us all of how our adopted pastor had sent her an email the day before because there was no more food and they were hungry. His family and 20 orphans have no food. NO FOOD. Here they are, just so that you can see they are real; real people and real children with real dreams......... starving.



I know this is uncomfortable, and that many of you are thinking right now that the Lord would not ask you to give up your TV, or that I am being legalistic in my interpretation of scripture. My response to that is the poor, and what we should do for them, is mentioned 178 times in my bible and is absolutely not to be ignored. So many times I hear people say they don't know what to do to make a difference. I don't think it's that we don't know, it's that we are not willing to act. We are not willing to truly sacrifice our comfort for another in need. Our normal is so ingrained into us that we don't even understand that our very worst here is their very best- a very best that they cannot even imagine. And so I pose a challenge to us all. Lets contemplate our normal here in the US and what it looks like compared to the rest of the world, and lets decide to change it. I personally now know that my normal must change. I simply will not, I can not, live like this any more at the expense of my brothers and sisters. Yes, I truly believe our comfort is at the expense of our fellow humans. When will we decide that this is not okay; that this is not how Jesus walked? While we live normally here, they die there. 26,000 children every day of hunger and preventable disease.

Imagine if we all sold our flat screen TV's and video game boxes and jewelery etc etc etc etc etc etc etc. IMAGINE how many people could eat. IMAGINE how many people would live. I know some of you don't have flat screens, and that so many of you already do so much. We can do more. We MUST do more. So much more that our normal is no longer normal.

Jesus told the self righteous young man in Mark chapter 10 to "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." I believe Jesus means what He says.

Minus THREE More!!! ..and then some.

Today was an awesome day! My friends, soon to be pastor (church plant!), returned home from two weeks in Africa. The first part of their trip was spent in Kisii, Kenya. Details to follow soon. The last leg of their trip was spent in Ethiopia picking up their newest additions.. three of them. John 14:18 magnified! 147,000,000 Orphans MINUS THREE MORE!!



I came home tonight filled and praising the Lord- really praising the Lord! I love that he is showing me how he is an all-the-way God; One who cares about the details. Friends from far and wide came to celebrate. We cried and laughed and prayed and praised. Hallelujah! Best part though is that this isn't the end of the story. In fact, it seems to be just the beginning.

Through the eldest from Ethiopia, a seed was planted for her best friend Sisay, who also has two siblings. Sisay and her sibs got left behind. This time. But we are praying not for long! Our hearts are breaking for them as they wait back in Africa with no hope of when it will be their turn- their turn to have a mommy and daddy and a family all their own. When you begin to get involved in the orphan crisis, and the numbers start to have faces that are real, it becomes an honor to advocate on their behalf. So, a few of us are standing up to fill in the gap pending their forever family.

We have decided to live out our faith and believe for a [specific!] family for these three precious children of God. We are fasting and standing in prayer tomorrow for a breakthrough in their lives. We believe that their FOREVER FAMILY will accept and obey this call, and we are asking that the Lord work swiftly to get these kids HOME.

Will you join us? Because truthfully, if we don't, who will? It's up to us to choose to speak up for those who can't speak for themselves.. it's up to us to choose to defend the fatherless, just like it's up to us to choose to follow Christ.

There is also a gorgeous little 2 1/2 year old boy in Ghana who needs a family to step in and claim him for Christ. His name is Sampson. We will also be lifting his life up to the Lord and trusting that his forever family will find him soon. You can get all the info on Sampson over at Anita's blog.

The Word says that God sets the lonely in families, and that he will never leave us or forsake us. We believe this! Well the Word also says we are to defend the orphan and we are to speak on their behalf, and that pure and faultless religion is just this, to defend the orphan and widow in their distress. We believe this too!

We believe it, but we just don't do it. Let's make a decision to be doers of The Word, friends. This is truly an emergency.

my Redeemer.

I didn't plan on this blog being about my past, rather the present; what God is doing in each moment of my life as I seek Him. However, some things, in my opinion, just shouldn't be hidden away and gone unmentioned.... like the redeeming power of Jesus Christ in a life once filled with pain and fear.

It didn't take long for me to realize as a child that nobody could really be trusted, that people may do nice or helpful things for you but then you will always "owe" them and have to please them lest those good deeds will be held over your head at any given time. I learned that love was fleeting and conditional, and that people who say they love you will hurt you and eventually leave you, especially if you do something displeasing to them. I learned this from my family.

As a child I would pray that my father, the one I never knew, would come and rescue me from my ugly life. I would day dream about life with him and about how I would feel safe and loved and how everything would finally make sense. Little did I know then that there was a Father who loved me unconditionally and was waiting there to save me all along.

Fast forward to the recent years. My Father, my heavenly One, did save me from my ugly life. He met me right where I was one Sunday just 4 years ago and since then has been molding me into the person he created me to be. The desires of my heart have changed as my heart for him has changed. It really is such a beautiful story. One that could honestly stop right here and be good enough to glorify Him.

But I'm not serving a "good enough" God! I'm serving a God who keeps his promises- a God who always keeps His Word. A God who loves me so much that he would take his son's life to redeem mine. He knows how I have longed to be a part of a family for as long has I have memory. He has heard my cries. He has been working on my behalf and lining things up just so. And when the time was right; as he had planned all along, after he pruned me and prepared me, he set me in a family.. a faith family.. just as he promised he would.

"God sets the lonely in families.." -Psalm 68:6

So tonight I am rejoicing in the love my Father has for me! This past month has been like a dream. The most amazing thing is that I could have never dreamed anything this good for me... but my Redeemer did. He has shown himself in these people. They have been a living example of being His hands and feet just by who they are and how they live their lives. To see my son... this is the part that most tears me up... to see him set in a family... my God, MY GOD IS SO GOOD!

This weekend I did Pathway's homework with my new lil'sis. I listened to the roar of the littles playing upstairs and witnessed the frequent break for love and hugs. I was offered help when my car battery died at Wal-mart. I witnessed sleepovers in the capacity that you would not know what child belonged with what family! I saw people stand together in the midst of sadness and tragedy and saw God perform a miracle. I ate a home made meal around the table with 16 others. I witnessed one of "ours" be reunited with their 3 new children in Ethiopia over the Internet as the others filled in the gap at home while they are away. I baked a birthday cake and helped a little frost it. I was hugged more times than I could ever count. I saw God glorified over and over again.

"They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer." -Psalms 78:35

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -1 Corinthians 13

Minus One More - the story behind the name.

November 1, 2009. Lil'one had been in my arms forever two years now. That night after he was in bed I was praising God for what had been done in our lives during this time. I posted to my fb status "147,000,000 orphans MINUS ONE!! Celebrating two years in my arms forever with this amazing little person God has entrusted into my care. My brave boy, I love you.." but little did I know what the Lord was birthing in me that night.

I couldn't sleep. In the midst of my praising Jesus for the life He had restored in my son; thanking Him for paying the ultimate price, He began to show me some things about following Him.

Horrifying statistics surrounding "the least of these" were haunting me this night; breaking me as I lay there seeing the images so vividly. Because of Katie Davis, Francis Chan, David Platt and other examples of what it meant to truly follow Christ, these numbers now had faces. As I was praying about the vastness of millions compared to the one me, pleading for God to show me how, He began to show me the power of one. One that started with the redemption of my own life and led to the redemption of another, my once orphaned son.

God was showing me how much every one, everyone, mattered to Him; every single one. One. The number 1 was so prevalent to me that night in the midst of the millions. What was I doing to bring hope to one more, and one more, and one more? Was my life a reflection of a follower of Jesus Christ? It was at that time that I began to realize the power of what God had put on my heart in typing my fb status that night.... MINUS ONE. MINUS ONE MORE orphan, MINUS ONE MORE lost soul, MINUS ONE MORE hurting, MINUS ONE MORE for His glory! EveryONE, every single one counts in the eyes of Jesus. He was convicting me of that very fact and showing me that in each one; each ONE WON for HIS GLORY is where my purpose lies.

The next day I created this blog. Minus One More. M.O.M. MOM, it is so clear to me now, 2 months later, why it was put on my heart to call this blog MOM, and how my dreams and my purpose will be fulfilled by means of "minus one more". I haven't been able to find the words to accurately describle what is happening within me; the awesomeness of what God will do with the willing, but I'm going to try. I have realized that living life my way will never bring about true happiness.. that nothing in this life matters except bringing glory to His name.. and that I am willing to give up everything; risk all, and I mean ALL, to follow Him.

“So then, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you may do, do all for the honor and glory of God.” -1 Corinthians 10:31

"Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord from the heavens, praise him in the heights above. Praise him, all his angels, praise him, all his heavenly hosts. Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars. Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for he commanded and they were created. He set them in place for ever and ever; he gave a decree that will never pass away. Praise the Lord from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens. He has raised up for his people a horn, the praise of all his saints, of Israel, the people close to his heart. Praise the Lord." -Psalms 148