suffering, obedience and blessings.

I have sat down to write a blog so many times but end up shutting my laptop without posting. A part of me doesn't want to tell you about the hard parts, but the truth is this is really hard. I stepped foot on a continent with my four year old son that we had never even visited. This after resigning from a big job with big money and selling everything we own minus the 200 pounds we brought with us. Things that were easy in the states are just difficult here. The two hardest things for me by far are losing my independence and watching my son in his struggles.

My heart arrived in Africa long before we did. God had prepared us as much as possible for this time, and I am so thankful for that. But no one can be prepared to watch their child struggle to choke down rice for the 18th lunch/dinner, or watch as the kids poke, pet, blow at, laugh and call your baby names. I couldn't be prepared to answer my son when he asks why I am doing this to him in response to a cold splash of water we call baths in the states, or for what it would feel like to be the only white person in a sea of black faces. How does one prepare to not have a home of of their own, no transportation, and to not know how and where to shop for food, prepare it, and the list goes on and on.

But, after every hard moment comes the most amazing one. I explained to a dear friend that I am truly living moment to moment and grace to grace; seeking God in the hard times knowing that he is with me always and that he will never leave or forsake me, and thanking God when he responds with the blessings of obedience. It seems to me that there is this belief that Christ died for us; to make our lives comfortable. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. Christ died in obedience to God, not for us and for our comfort. Jesus was sweating blood on his way to obedience and even asked God to take the cup from him if it was his will. But ultimately Jesus obeyed and went to the cross to pay the ultimate price of death.

That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death. - Php 3:10

And if children, then heirs; heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. -Romans 8:17

Scripture tells us that we are to partake in Christ's suffering, and it also says in Matthew 7 that following Christ is the narrow and difficult road that leads to life, while the broad and easy road leads to destruction. Does this mean that we are not to have joy? No, it is just the opposite! In John 17, Jesus prays to The Father that His joy would be made full in us. Jesus wants us to have a joyful life.. but that joy does not come in the form of comfort, it comes from Him; in obedience and in relationship. In obedience comes immeasurable joy and blessing!

So while my time here is hard; much harder than I could even really let onto, the moments of joy and blessing are like nothing I have ever experienced. Let me show you.....

This is Betty opening her 14th birthday gifts I brought from the states. I sponsor Betty by paying a monthly fee that allows her an education, food, and school uniforms. While spending time with Betty I found out that she was about 10 when her mother died. That was one week after her father died. Betty is an orphan. James 1:27 says that pure religion in the sight of God is caring for widows and orphans, and not to be corrupt by the things of this world.

I arrived in Betty's country the day before her birthday and she was at the airport waiting to greet me. Who gets to meet the child that they have sponsored half way around the world at the airport upon their arrival, and who gets to spend the next day celebrating her birthday with her when she has never before received a birthday gift? Do you think Betty was more blessed, or me? God is that good!

Betty once lived halfway around the world from me, but now I see her in church on Sunday and at school whenever I am there. Only God could do something this spectacular.

                                           
                                                       Katie Davis and my son!

A little over a year ago a friend linked Katie's blog to my facebook page. She is a 22 year old single mother... of 14 girls! She lives in Uganda, Africa with her daughters who were once orphans. The night I read her entire blog front to back my life was forever changed. Everything came full circle when we pulled up to her gate on July 24th. I stood in her living room and just wanted to drop to my knees in thanksgiving to my God. I'm not sure if Katie will ever fully understand the ramifications of her obedience, but for me, it was the Word of God spelled out in conjunction with her actions and thoughts on following Christ that changed the direction of my life. And to think He lined it up so that I would live here in the same country in Africa.... I am just blown away literally.

Only God could do something this spectacular.

On my 10th day in Uganda the Lord spoke to me about a sick boy.. "bring him home and love him". I had a meeting with a few college aged girls and then planned on talking with Pastor John. When headed toward Pastor's office I saw him walking with the boy's hand in his. He said to me that we were bringing him home. Confirmation! Only God!

Meet Brian (on the right), here with Auntie Drea on our first day in Uganda.

Brian has a story all his own, and he will get a separate post. But to tell you of the joy I get in taking care of this child..... to watch CR rub B's head when he is laying ill, to hear my son say dozens of times per day how much he loves Brian, to see him eat without pain, to hide his medicine in his food for him, to tell him I love him, pray with him and teach him about his Father who will also never leave or forsake him... to tuck him in at night. I am head over heels for this child.

Only God, seriously, could do such an amazing thing. I am on my way to Gulu. My plan was not to get to Uganda and bring another child into our lives in this capacity. But aren't His plans just so much better than ours! Pastor's wife said to me last night how amazing it was that God put Gulu on hold so that I would be here for a time such as this. Can you imagine!

And these are just the great big AMAZING things HE has done.

There is also this...

And this...

And I praise him for this....

American/Italian Food!

...and KISSES!

I thank him for this...

So many things happen each and every moment here. I cry most days for various reasons. Africa is breathtaking and hard, heartbreaking and harder yet, beautiful and amazing. I am standing on God's promises for the orphans and widows, for me and CR, and for our newest little man, Brian.

Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. –John 12:26