my Redeemer.

I didn't plan on this blog being about my past, rather the present; what God is doing in each moment of my life as I seek Him. However, some things, in my opinion, just shouldn't be hidden away and gone unmentioned.... like the redeeming power of Jesus Christ in a life once filled with pain and fear.

It didn't take long for me to realize as a child that nobody could really be trusted, that people may do nice or helpful things for you but then you will always "owe" them and have to please them lest those good deeds will be held over your head at any given time. I learned that love was fleeting and conditional, and that people who say they love you will hurt you and eventually leave you, especially if you do something displeasing to them. I learned this from my family.

As a child I would pray that my father, the one I never knew, would come and rescue me from my ugly life. I would day dream about life with him and about how I would feel safe and loved and how everything would finally make sense. Little did I know then that there was a Father who loved me unconditionally and was waiting there to save me all along.

Fast forward to the recent years. My Father, my heavenly One, did save me from my ugly life. He met me right where I was one Sunday just 4 years ago and since then has been molding me into the person he created me to be. The desires of my heart have changed as my heart for him has changed. It really is such a beautiful story. One that could honestly stop right here and be good enough to glorify Him.

But I'm not serving a "good enough" God! I'm serving a God who keeps his promises- a God who always keeps His Word. A God who loves me so much that he would take his son's life to redeem mine. He knows how I have longed to be a part of a family for as long has I have memory. He has heard my cries. He has been working on my behalf and lining things up just so. And when the time was right; as he had planned all along, after he pruned me and prepared me, he set me in a family.. a faith family.. just as he promised he would.

"God sets the lonely in families.." -Psalm 68:6

So tonight I am rejoicing in the love my Father has for me! This past month has been like a dream. The most amazing thing is that I could have never dreamed anything this good for me... but my Redeemer did. He has shown himself in these people. They have been a living example of being His hands and feet just by who they are and how they live their lives. To see my son... this is the part that most tears me up... to see him set in a family... my God, MY GOD IS SO GOOD!

This weekend I did Pathway's homework with my new lil'sis. I listened to the roar of the littles playing upstairs and witnessed the frequent break for love and hugs. I was offered help when my car battery died at Wal-mart. I witnessed sleepovers in the capacity that you would not know what child belonged with what family! I saw people stand together in the midst of sadness and tragedy and saw God perform a miracle. I ate a home made meal around the table with 16 others. I witnessed one of "ours" be reunited with their 3 new children in Ethiopia over the Internet as the others filled in the gap at home while they are away. I baked a birthday cake and helped a little frost it. I was hugged more times than I could ever count. I saw God glorified over and over again.

"They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer." -Psalms 78:35

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -1 Corinthians 13