walking by faith in Truth.

No weapon formed against me shall prosper.

I never want to forget this night, September 27. I'm supposed to be sad and in despair but instead we rejoice with thanksgiving. The diagnosis is terminal cancer, and the reports are that one child out of every five with cancer dies. I know this statistic because it was on the first piece of paper they gave me at diagnosis. That paper quickly found it's way to the trash! It's easily recognizable that death is spoken over life here and that people are filled with hopelessness and fear.

But flowing out of our room is glory itself. The bright smile of God's treasure. Praises and joy, great hope, laughter in abundance, life.. despite the circumstance, all because of a man who was put to death on a cross over two thousand years ago. A man who we love to the deepest depths of our soul; who gives us hope and a future.

Tonight will be the first dose of chemotherapy for the five year old love of my life. I waited 19 months for him to be home and in my arms forever. He didn't grow inside my womb, yet my heart would never know. I am privileged and overjoyed to be chosen as his mom; chosen to stand on the front lines of this battle ground. It's war but nothing new for him. So tonight we prepare for the poison that we choose to call 'healing balm from heaven', and we give the One who knows each hair on our heads; the One who knows at which moment we will draw our last breath, all of our praise and adoration because our hearts know the truth.. that in Jesus we are victorious and death has been conquered.

I called on our pastor, elders and intercessors and we anointed Christopher Reign with oil; praying, praising, rebuking this assignment from hell and claiming the victory over his life. We rejoice in his healing because we know the word of God to be true. “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up.”

Faith. 

Maybe it's easier for me today because I've seen God heal my boy supernaturally before. Perhaps it's because He sent an angel to escort us through the hospital just blocks down the road three years ago; not having filled out a single paper or telling anyone our names, yet being whisked through the double doors without intake and being called by our first and last name, getting treated like royalty and not paying a cent for the ER visit that confirmed God's healing touch on my son's brain. Certainly faith for me comes from knowing what He has done in my own life. The word says if you don't understand the dynamic of the Father and Son to just believe on the miracles until you do [John 14:9-11]. That's a good word, beloved.

I know my Daddy has been wooing me into the secret place of His heart through all the pruning and purifying of our six year walk, and it is there, in His heart, that He has been preparing me for this battle. He told me eight months ago that I was in a time of learning and preparation; that He wants me walk as He did. And here we are with our Goliath, and I have a slingshot too. Mine is the living breathing word of God. These months of preparation; discovering a heart of worship, eating and drinking the word.. hiding it deep down in my heart for such a time as this. Abiding in Him.

After all of our visitors left, the nurses came in with our healing balm. I wondered how awful poison must taste. Knowing now because I watched my baby gag, spit, cry and wretch as the masked and gloved nurses shot it into his mouth. When all was finished though, Christopher Reign looked at me and said “Tomorrow we should go pray for the sick kids here so that they know the love of Jesus”. 

I was reminded of the time when Jesus healed Peter's mother-in-law. Immediately after she was healed she got up and began serving her Lord. I knew our Daddy God was confirming to me that Christopher was healed.. giving me more to hold onto in battle. My son IS HEALED; regardless of what the report says, regardless of how he feels, or even what is said about him, my boy knows he is healed and whole in Jesus. And so he got up and began to serve his Lord in thought and deed.

We walk by faith according to the truth of God's word, not by what we see and hear in the natural. When I got the call from the adoption agency that the child I loved had severe frontal lobe brain damage and cerebral palsy, I fell apart. “This is not what I signed up for, God, I can't do this.” That's what I told Him for 72 hours. I had met Jesus less than one year prior and had not yet built a foundation.

Daddy, in His lovingkindness, spoke to me. He told me that His promises for me and for Christopher had not changed with the world's news; that it was true I couldn't do 'this', but that with Him I could, and to go get my son. My mourning turned to joy! Not because I knew He would heal my son, I didn't even know the word of God yet, but because I had heard His voice and I believed what He said... that with Him I could do anything.

Together we have journeyed the five years since then. God has shown Himself to me as my Father, my Husband and my closest and truest Friend. To detail what He has done in my heart would take pages and pages and a lot of time. As I have sought the truth of life and purpose, He has walked beside me, carried me, reprimanded me and most importantly taught me love. I look back and see His hand all over my life; I see Him everywhere beckoning His creation to acknowledge Him, if only to realize that the gospel.. the Truth.. is the glorious fulfillment of every single thing our heart will ever desire right here and now, on earth as it is in heaven.

I find it impossible not to praise Him... as I walk, sleep, bathe, go to and from, in health and in sickness. He has never left me; He does not leave us as orphans.. I have come to understand that this term is not just for children without parents. He has shown me more and more truth as I seek and submit. I have yielded myself to Him; to finding the purpose of my life in this world. The purifying fire of God is intense and intoxicating. Jesus is not religion, but a relationship; an entrance into the beating heart of our Father.

I know I am prepared. He has prepared me for this. Because of His love.. because of His promises.. because of Truth, we rejoice and we praise Him despite what the news is once more.

I held my son in one arm, pulled in close as he drifted off to sleep. In the opposite hand was my bible. With tears of joy and a thankful heart, I prayed God's word of life and promise over him as the healing balm from heaven started a work in his little body that only a supernatural miracle can complete.

A few days later, as I am reading the story that reminded me of my son, I am completely wowed by Papa's words and confirmation. “And when Jesus entered Peter's house, He saw his mother-in-law lying sick with a fever. He touched her hand and the fever left her, and she rose and began to serve him. That evening they brought to Him many who were oppressed by demons, and He cast out the spirits with a word and healed all who were sick. This was to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah: 'He took our illnesses and bore our diseases.'”

"Jesus said, 'Go; let it be done for you as you have believed.' And the servant was healed that very moment."

I am not researching, worrying or giving into the enemy's attempts to speak death into our situation. All kinds of things are coming at us, but we are only allowing in the truth in word.. the rest is rebuked as we keep our gaze focused on the Healer Himself. We are hunkered down in battle; standing firm in truth as Daddy writes another chapter in His story.

Today we are leaving the hospital; doing outpatient chemo with follow up. Please understand that anything beyond today is not our focus or even in the realm of my knowledge. I don't know when and how our Lord is going to give His perfect report, but be assured that when He does, you will loudly hear the praises of His servants.

Before starting the 'healing balm from heaven'
[Spleen overtaking his abdomen]

Dr. Reign working on his patient <3

In Jesus name, I command the leukemia to leave his body. Jesus paid the price for this healing on Calvary 2011 years ago. Leukemia is not this boys portion. It was nailed to the cross w/ Jesus. So we stand in the awesome power that raised Jesus from the dead and I command cancer to leave Christopher now in Jesus Name  - the name that all sickness must bow down to. Your appointment against him is canceled. Your assignment is completed. Get out of him and off him now in Jesus name. Father God thank you for healing Christopher. You said healing is the Children’s bread. You said none of these sicknesses and diseases shall come upon us. You said you are the Lord God that heals. You said all who came to Jesus for healing where healed. So we stand in faith and thank your for your promises for complete healing for Christopher. Thank you Father. Thank you Jesus. And, we pray your perfect peace for Tonya and Christopher in Jesus name. We love you Lord. We bless you. And I bless Christopher and Tonya in Jesus name. Amen. So be it.

[A perfect prayer from a sister in Christ we haven't yet met.]