my Redeemer.

I didn't plan on this blog being about my past, rather the present; what God is doing in each moment of my life as I seek Him. However, some things, in my opinion, just shouldn't be hidden away and gone unmentioned.... like the redeeming power of Jesus Christ in a life once filled with pain and fear.

It didn't take long for me to realize as a child that nobody could really be trusted, that people may do nice or helpful things for you but then you will always "owe" them and have to please them lest those good deeds will be held over your head at any given time. I learned that love was fleeting and conditional, and that people who say they love you will hurt you and eventually leave you, especially if you do something displeasing to them. I learned this from my family.

As a child I would pray that my father, the one I never knew, would come and rescue me from my ugly life. I would day dream about life with him and about how I would feel safe and loved and how everything would finally make sense. Little did I know then that there was a Father who loved me unconditionally and was waiting there to save me all along.

Fast forward to the recent years. My Father, my heavenly One, did save me from my ugly life. He met me right where I was one Sunday just 4 years ago and since then has been molding me into the person he created me to be. The desires of my heart have changed as my heart for him has changed. It really is such a beautiful story. One that could honestly stop right here and be good enough to glorify Him.

But I'm not serving a "good enough" God! I'm serving a God who keeps his promises- a God who always keeps His Word. A God who loves me so much that he would take his son's life to redeem mine. He knows how I have longed to be a part of a family for as long has I have memory. He has heard my cries. He has been working on my behalf and lining things up just so. And when the time was right; as he had planned all along, after he pruned me and prepared me, he set me in a family.. a faith family.. just as he promised he would.

"God sets the lonely in families.." -Psalm 68:6

So tonight I am rejoicing in the love my Father has for me! This past month has been like a dream. The most amazing thing is that I could have never dreamed anything this good for me... but my Redeemer did. He has shown himself in these people. They have been a living example of being His hands and feet just by who they are and how they live their lives. To see my son... this is the part that most tears me up... to see him set in a family... my God, MY GOD IS SO GOOD!

This weekend I did Pathway's homework with my new lil'sis. I listened to the roar of the littles playing upstairs and witnessed the frequent break for love and hugs. I was offered help when my car battery died at Wal-mart. I witnessed sleepovers in the capacity that you would not know what child belonged with what family! I saw people stand together in the midst of sadness and tragedy and saw God perform a miracle. I ate a home made meal around the table with 16 others. I witnessed one of "ours" be reunited with their 3 new children in Ethiopia over the Internet as the others filled in the gap at home while they are away. I baked a birthday cake and helped a little frost it. I was hugged more times than I could ever count. I saw God glorified over and over again.

"They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer." -Psalms 78:35

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -1 Corinthians 13

Minus One More - the story behind the name.

November 1, 2009. Lil'one had been in my arms forever two years now. That night after he was in bed I was praising God for what had been done in our lives during this time. I posted to my fb status "147,000,000 orphans MINUS ONE!! Celebrating two years in my arms forever with this amazing little person God has entrusted into my care. My brave boy, I love you.." but little did I know what the Lord was birthing in me that night.

I couldn't sleep. In the midst of my praising Jesus for the life He had restored in my son; thanking Him for paying the ultimate price, He began to show me some things about following Him.

Horrifying statistics surrounding "the least of these" were haunting me this night; breaking me as I lay there seeing the images so vividly. Because of Katie Davis, Francis Chan, David Platt and other examples of what it meant to truly follow Christ, these numbers now had faces. As I was praying about the vastness of millions compared to the one me, pleading for God to show me how, He began to show me the power of one. One that started with the redemption of my own life and led to the redemption of another, my once orphaned son.

God was showing me how much every one, everyone, mattered to Him; every single one. One. The number 1 was so prevalent to me that night in the midst of the millions. What was I doing to bring hope to one more, and one more, and one more? Was my life a reflection of a follower of Jesus Christ? It was at that time that I began to realize the power of what God had put on my heart in typing my fb status that night.... MINUS ONE. MINUS ONE MORE orphan, MINUS ONE MORE lost soul, MINUS ONE MORE hurting, MINUS ONE MORE for His glory! EveryONE, every single one counts in the eyes of Jesus. He was convicting me of that very fact and showing me that in each one; each ONE WON for HIS GLORY is where my purpose lies.

The next day I created this blog. Minus One More. M.O.M. MOM, it is so clear to me now, 2 months later, why it was put on my heart to call this blog MOM, and how my dreams and my purpose will be fulfilled by means of "minus one more". I haven't been able to find the words to accurately describle what is happening within me; the awesomeness of what God will do with the willing, but I'm going to try. I have realized that living life my way will never bring about true happiness.. that nothing in this life matters except bringing glory to His name.. and that I am willing to give up everything; risk all, and I mean ALL, to follow Him.

“So then, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you may do, do all for the honor and glory of God.” -1 Corinthians 10:31

"Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord from the heavens, praise him in the heights above. Praise him, all his angels, praise him, all his heavenly hosts. Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars. Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for he commanded and they were created. He set them in place for ever and ever; he gave a decree that will never pass away. Praise the Lord from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens. He has raised up for his people a horn, the praise of all his saints, of Israel, the people close to his heart. Praise the Lord." -Psalms 148